Kristin Cavallari Breaks Silence On Her Divorce: "It Was The Hardest Decision I Ever Made"

Kristin Cavallari attends the Unequaled NBCUniversal Upfront campaign.
September 23, 2020 - 19:35 / Amanda Stanford

Months after she announced her split from Jay Cutler, Kristin Cavallari is opening up about her decision, and how challenging it was for her to come to the final choice. The reality star is getting candid!

Announcing their split in April, Kristin Cavallari is opening up about why she decided to file for divorce after 10 years of marriage. The reality star gets candid and real about her toughest moments.

After watching Cavallari on Very Cavallari everyone thought she and hubby Jay Cutler were the epitome of #CouplesGoals, but the reality star is sharing not everything is at it appears on TV.

Kristin Cavallari breaks her silence on her divorce

Kristin Cavallari is getting real about the hardest choice she's had to make, after calling it quits with her hubby of 10 years and baby daddy to her three kids. 

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler attend the Uncommon James VIP Grand Opening.

In April, the couple went to the Bahamas as a family, and just weeks after they returned, Cavallari announced she was done with Jay Cutler.

In an exclusive interview with People, Cavallari reveals she and Cutler had been struggling in their relationship for years, despite it seeming fine on TV.

"I always thought it was interesting when people would refer to us as 'couple goals,'" Cavallari said.

"I was like, 'if you guys only knew,'" the 33-year-old reality star continued.

Cavallari added that their marriage hit a breaking point while they were filming their third season, adding, "We definitely kept a lot of stuff private. Producers saw stuff, but they didn't put it in the show — which is good, because I don't want my kids to ever [see that]."

While their split seemingly came "out of the blue", Cavallari says that's not the case, adding that it "didn't happen overnight. We tried really, really hard for years and years. It was the hardest decision I've ever made."

Following her announcement of the split, Cavallari said it was a little hairy at first discussing how they were going to handle co-parenting their three children, sons Camden, 8, and Jaxon, 6, and daughter Saylor, 4, but that now, they've reached some peace.

"I still care so much about him and talk to him almost every day," she says. "We have three kids together. He's going to be in my life forever."

Cavallari shares what made her marriage fall apart

Kristin said that their decision to go their separate ways was a result of many different things, but that ultimately they've just grown into different people.

Kristin Cavallari poses at SiriusXM Studios.

"Every relationship has its stuff. I met Jay when I was 23. I was a baby. Jay and I had so much love for each other, but we grew up," she said. "When you work at something for so many years and nothing's changing, I think you have to just make a decision. We all want to be happy."

After cancelling her show, the reality star is thankful it's all over, adding that the thought of filming gave her major anxiety.

"I'm just relieved," she said. "I just knew I was going to have to talk about everything, and I didn't want to. Thinking about filming was giving me anxiety."

Adding that her kids are the most important thing to her, she has moved into a new home in Nashville and is taking a beat to figure out where to go from here.

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"A year ago I felt like I was drowning," she said. "That's not to say I don't have really hard days, but for the past however many years, I've been putting everybody else first. I'm going to focus on me for a minute, look inward, and figure out what I ultimately want out of life."

Cavallari says that she's "proud of her decision", and that it "tore at her" for many years before she finally pulled the plug. 

"I feel like my whole world is opening up now because of it, and I'm just feeling the best I've felt in a really long time. I'm really excited about the future all around."