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Nikki Bella Reveals That She Was Sexually Assaulted Twice In New Memoir 'Incomparable'

Nikki Bella Reveals That She Was Sexually Assaulted Twice In New Memoir Incomparable
May 5, 2020 - 19:41 / Hayley Paskevich

In her new memoir Incomparable, co-written with her sister Brie, Nikki Bella details how she was raped twice as a teenager. Now, she's shared why she's opening up!

Nikki Bella has brought some shocking truths about her past to light in her new book. As People shares, she and her sister Brie wrote a memoir together titled Incomparable, which was just released on Tuesday. And in it, Nikki gets emotionally vulnerable as she opens up for the first time about having been sexually assaulted as a teenager. 

The Bella Twins attend WWE 20th Anniversary Celebration Marking Premiere of WWE Friday Night SmackDown on FOX on October 4, 2019.

Nikki Bella details being a survivor of sexual assault at a young age

Nikki reveals in the book that she was raped at 15 years old by a fellow high school student "she thought was a friend". Then, she was raped again when she was 16, this time after a man old enough to be in college drugged her. 

"There is the horrible offense in the moment, and then the shame and blame that follow and feel almost worse than the original pain," she said. "When something like this happens to you, you understand the blame-the-victim mentality, how easy it is to feel shame rather than anger, how easy it is to feel like you could have stopped it yourself."

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Nikki Bella and Brie Bella attend the Nikki and Brie Bella launch of their new product line during fashion week for Nicole and Brizee, N + B body and beauty line on September 5, 2019.

Nikki opens up to People about why she chose to share her story

Nikki spoke candidly in a new interview with People about why she'd stayed quiet about having been sexually assaulted until now. "When that happened to me, I immediately just felt so ashamed and blamed myself, and that's what made me want to keep it such a secret," she said. 

However, Nikki also admitted that doing so negatively affected her life in the long run. "And keeping that a secret and blaming myself, I started to lose my confidence," she said. "I started to disrespect myself. And then the relationships I got into at a young age, I let other people disrespect me and felt like, that's okay, this is what I deserved."

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Nikki went on to say that her unhealthy perception of herself and her relationships lasted for years. "I was like that for a really long time," she said. "I would go to therapy on and off. Looking at it now I'm like, 'Oh Nicole, I wish you just would've let go at a young age. So much would have changed for you.' And I think that's what made me really want to tell these stories finally."

Nikki Bella attends FOX's Teen Choice Awards 2019 on August 11, 2019.

Nikki said she "had no boundaries" when it came to relationships

Nikki said that by sharing her story now, she's hopeful that other young girls and women won't have to suffer in the same way as her. "When the #MeToo movement happened, I was just like, 'Oh my gosh,'" she told People.

"I feel like, if I'm having these younger women look up to me, maybe I can help them and have them not hold onto this as long as I did. It wasn't until I was 28 and in a relationship where someone started to teach me how to respect myself. That's how long I held on to things and felt I had no boundaries."

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Nikki on her younger self: "I wish I could have heard my words now"

Nikki revealed to People that she would look at her sister growing up and see the differences in how they approached their lives. "And I'd always look at Brie like, 'Oh, she has boundaries, she treats herself with such respect. How do I not have this?' And I knew why. But I held onto it for so long."

"When I look back at just decisions I made based off of it," Nikki continued, "I wish I could have heard my words now as a 36-year-old woman then, and be like, 'You're going to be okay.'" 

Nikki wants Incomparable to empower its readers in their own lives

Nikki and Bella's book Incomparable details how both sisters were able to conquer adversity and find their purpose. And as Nikki shared with People, her ultimate hope is that the Bella Twins' stories will empower people.

"I hope whoever reads the book will throw on whatever imaginary cape they dream of and say, ‘I’m the hero of my own story and will conquer whatever I want to do!" she said.